This City

might be killing me.

I'm getting much too decadent. It's just so hard not to be bitter as fuck when you don't have a customer for an hour and antiseptic's eating away at your hands and the last person you talked to about anything substantial just told you Widespread Panic is amazing.

Still, I'm sort of grateful I don't live in Dallas. Suburban Plano may be full of the petty, vapid, rich, and idiotic, but Dallas is so divided against itself. Ever read the comments on WeShotJR? Its like a high school brawl's about to bust out. No wonder the music scene's fucked; no one respects each other's pretentiousness and feigned obscure taste, so the pride and individualism leaves no room for any sort of regional love. It's not enough to just communally bash Austin if you're self-deprecating as well.

I may be a hypocrite by doing nothing to change things, but there doesn't seem to be much I can do. I'm not enough of a musician or critic to have any effect, just some writer not taken seriously because of my age, sex, and situation.

So I go through the motions, dump ashtrays, assure that kid who sits behind me in class that I'll eventually listen to his shitty indie band, let the Observer make me sadder and sadder, and wait until it is time for me to leave.